rollingggthunderrr | PSL/Meme Continuation

[It's bizarre to have Nishinoya speaking into his chest; the heat of his breath is so, so hot against Asahi's skin, even through the layers of his clothes. It's very similar to the heat in Asahi's face now at the feeling.

His arms move at Noya's bidding, though he needs a moment to catch up.]

A... hug? [He repeats, before hesitantly squeezes Nishinoya a bit closer.] Like this..?

Nu uh. Tighter.

[He gives him a very tight squeeze - you know, for example! And then nestles in closer against him, sighs a bit.]

Like this. See?

Edited 2020-10-26 23:30 (UTC)

[He tries complying, squeezing Nishinoya as tightly as Noya's demonstrated - but Asahi is a little afraid of hurting him.]

T-This?

Mmmmmmmnnnnn!!! [Noya lets out an overly-exaggerated sound of content as he is squeezed, squeezes Asahi even harder in response, and then lifts his head with a bright, toothy smile on his face.] There you go, Asahi! I knew you weren’t so bad at hugging. You just gotta try, Asahi, see? See?

[He’s giggling now, slumping against him a little and letting his arms hang a little more loosely.]

I missed you, you...you know, you know, this whole time, Asahi. [He’s rambling, once again muffled by the older boy’s chest.] I missed you, I really missed you!

[Clearly he is just talking about today, right? Drunk ramblings and nothing more, mhmm. Mhmm.]

[Asahi certainly feels baffled at the situation. Who knew Nishinoya was such a clingy drunk?]

I... I see? I mean, yes. Hugging. It's not so hard?

[But Noya moves on quickly, just sort of nuzzling against Asahi's chest and starting to go on and on about missing him. Asahi's brows rise up his forehead.]

But we just saw each other yesterday? You know, at practice?

Mmm. Yeah. I know. [Is he suddenly quiet due to his head being more deeply buried in Asahi’s chest? Or is he just about to pass out and fall asleep like Tanaka did?

[Something else? He looks up again, stares a little longer than is probably comfortable, then smiles softly again - but there’s something behind it this time. Is he looking wistful now? A clingy drunk and an emotional drunk maybe?] But before that too, Asahi. Do you get it? Do you get what I mean? I missed you.

[Noya falls quiet, and for a moment Asahi begins to worry. Is he okay? Has he passed out? Does he have alcohol poisoning? Is he suffocating himself stuffing his face into Asahi's shirt??

And then he looks up, and his intense gaze meets Asahi's bewildered one. He repeats himself, but the emphasis is all wrong and the look in his eyes is so significant, and after a moment, it clicks for Asahi.]

You mean after-- when I left the team?

Mmm...mhmm. [Noya drops his gaze, drops his arms from around Asahi in turn and goes to tug lightly at the edge of the boy’s shirt instead. His legs kick weakly, a few inches off the ground given how tall the chair he’s sitting in is.

[And then he looks back up at him, smile decidedly weaker now, almost as if he’s forcing it.] Old hat, right? Haha...

[His lips twist into a frown.]

Yeah, I know. But it’s true, so...so you should know it, Asahi. That that’s...that’s what I’m thinking about.

[Man, it sure is hard to talk when you’re drunk.]

Okay? Okay. Okay!

[Oh. There's a strange spike of warmth in his belly when Noya tugs on the hem of his shirt, ironic given the cool air of the room against his skin. But it's not as if Noya's taking his clothes off? So Asahi just swallows his reaction.

He listens carefully, bewildered and speechless, as Noya slurs a bit, telling him that he still thinks about it. Guilt blooms like a black hole in his gut, swallowing up any shred of good feeling Asahi had inside. He'd thought leaving the team was the right thing to do at the time, and yet he lives to regret it on a regular basis.

Hesitantly, his hand comes up and rests atop Noya's spiky hair. Crunchy, from the gel, but also warm.]

Can you... stop? Thinking about it? Please?

Uuuuuughhh!!! [Nishinoya lets out a loud groan, and latches onto Asahi once again. His grip is tight - it’s desperate, which he doesn’t have the wherewithal right now to worry about whether or not that’s obvious. He kicks his legs with a little more gusto, clearly frustrated.] Don’t you think I’m trying, Asahi?! I don’t say it to make you feel bad - I know all about your glass heart, but I—-

I...[He groans again, but it’s much softer, much weaker this time. His legs finally stop kicking.] I don’t want to lie. No, nu uh. I don’t want to lie to you ever, ever! I won’t!

[Asahi has a similar impulse to tighten his grip, but since his hands are on Noya's head, he manages to hold back. It's still baffling to hear how affected Nishinoya is by all of this - he's such a cool, calm, collected guy normally, Asahi had no idea this was all still weighing on him.]

I won't ask you to lie! [He promises, voice a little squeaky.] You can be honest. E-Even if it, uh, is hard to hear... I guess I would rather know how you feel.

How I feel? [He falls quiet again, the anxious leg kicking starts up weakly, but he continues holding onto Asahi. It’s odd even to him that he’s still so hung up on the whole thing. Nishinoya prides himself on being the type to bounce back from conflict and keep pushing forward, but clearly if it’s still bothering him, then it’s important right? So why is he holding back.]

I feel...[How to put this? His brain is pretty foggy from the alcohol, and it’s easy to lose his train of thought or get wrapped up in the emotions swirling around in his head. He looks to Asahi again for clarity, a reminder of why he started rambling about this in the first place.

[Looking at the ace’s face, it becomes clear again all too suddenly. Another long stare, and he sighs.] I’m...happy you’re back. I’m proud of you, but I...

Hurt. [He pulls a hand away, grips his own shirt over his heart.] Here. When I think about it, Asahi.

Because you left...us. And me.

You left me.

[There's a lot of emotion to unpack there. Nishinoya's hesitance makes Asahi worry. He can't remember ever seeing him hesitate before, not on the court, not even when they went against the biggest, scariest opponents. How could Asahi be scarier to Noya than all that?

He swallows hard when Noya admits that leaving the team hurt him. That it felt personal - that it felt like Asahi was leaving him.]

That isn't-! I wasn't--! I... I thought you'd do better without me. I didn't want to hold you back anymore.

I’m not talking about volleyball anymore! [Well, at least Noya isn’t being quiet anymore - on the contrary, that statement was quite, quite loud, his drunkenness seeming to have heightened his maximum volume levels all of a sudden.

[He doesn’t look angry so much as he does...determined? Focused, certainly, his intense gaze once again set on Asahi.]

Me, I said! I felt like you left me! Because you’re not just a teammate to me, dummy! You’re my friend and I love you!

[He says it plainly, as if there’s nothing shocking about that revelation, or more so like it really shouldn’t be a revelation at all. He means it! He loves Asahi - whether that be platonically or romantically is entirely beside the point, and Noya isn’t really thinking about that right now! Honest - that’s what he said he was going to be, and that’s what he’s being. It’s as simple as that!]

So do you get it now? I love you and I missed you and I don’t want you to ever leave me again because—

Because it sucked! It totally sucked in every way!

[Not talking about volleyball? What else is there, when volleyball is all they have together, the crux of their relationship?

Nishinoya says the word 'love,' and Asahi's mind short-circuits. He gapes at his underclassman, eyes as wide as saucers. Love? As in... love??

It's a little too much for his mind to process. It's easier for Asahi to remind himself that Nishinoya is very, very drunk than it is to think about asking more questions, pushing this further. Besides that, Nishinoya is basically screaming, and Asahi doesn't want any neighbors coming to check on them, or complain.]

I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I won't leave you. [Asahi promises, feeling a bit desperate.] Okay? I'm not going anywhere!

Mmmmm! [Noya lets out a sound, halfway between frustrated, maybe a bit desperate, maybe just...drunk, then melts against Asahi again.

[He’s squeezing again, holding on tight and taking a deep breath.]

Okay, well...don’t! [Upright again, eyes on Asahi - this kid just can’t sit still.] I’m trusting you, okay? I know I can now, so I am!

[More of that fluttery, nervous feeling swells in Asahi's stomach. His palm rests on the top of Noya's hair. It's so much softer than it seems like it should be, with all of that hair gel.]

I won't betray your trust. I'll do my best, okay?

[Noya takes a deep, slow breath and seems to - finally - relax a bit. His eyes are still on Asahi, and now a warm smile comes over his face - drunk, crooked, affection clear in his eyes. Once again his fingers curl around the hem of Asahi’s shirt as he stares (more like gazes) at him.]

I’m glad you’re here. I really, really—- [He hiccups a little. Before that his voice was so calm and clear that it was probably easy to forget he was still drunk. He giggles a little.]

Whoops...hahaha. [He shakes his head, tries to clear it, but that just makes him feel woozy.] Maybe we should lie down.

[He doesn’t really realize that he’s said “we”, or maybe he does and just doesn’t correct it on purpose. Who knows?]

Ryu will be fine! Fine. [Tanaka is still snoring loudly on the couch.]

Come on, come on! [He tries to hop off the chair but immediately stumbles and grabs more tightly onto Asahi’s shirt.]

Woahhh-ohahaha. Whoops, whoops. [He’ll definitely be needing help to his room.]

[It's kind of crazy, how clear and intense Noya's gaze still is even when he's so clearly beyond wasted. Asahi stares into his eyes until the loud hiccup makes him snap out of it.

Nishinoya starts talking about how they should lie down, holds onto his clothes, talks about Tanaka, slides off his stool-- all without Asahi saying a word. He does catch Nishinoya reflexively when the other boy wobbles on his feet, eyes wide with worry, but since it's Nishinoya of course he's alright.]

Please be careful. [Asahi insists, putting an arm around Noya's back to hold him upright.] How much did you have to drink?

Just...just one, two...three...[He counts on his fingers, makes a face, looks at Asahi.] I don’t remember.

[Asahi can't help but make a face, too.] Noya, that's dangerous. [He huffs, and supports a bit more of Noya's weight.]

Which way is it to your room?

Pshhh. [Noya waves a hand, tries to blow that statement off like it means nothing, but the frown on his face makes it clear that he feels a little bad he’s made Asahi upset.] It’s fine, it’s fine, just—

There, up there.

[He points forward - up the stairs. Oh boy.]

[Stairs. Asahi bites his lip thoughtfully. He knows what would make the most sense to do, but the idea of carrying Nishinoya up the stairs makes him nervous. He doubts the other boy is going to go willingly, going to want to be carried. Plus, what if it makes him puke?

Still...]

Can you walk up the stairs...? [Asahi asks, feeling doubtful.]

Yeah duh! [The libero shouts, suddenly reinvigorated with drunken (albeit misplaced) determination. He breaks away from Asahi to put his first foot on the step and wobbles dangerously, clutching the banister and laughing.]

Okay, no stairs, you are making me look bad. I can do this! Watch me!

[Please stop him.]

[Right, so, that's a no. Asahi scrambles up behind Nishinoya and puts his hands firmly on the other boy's shoulders to keep him from teetering.]

How about I help you? [He says quickly, voice full of alarm.] Go slowly.

PSL/Meme Continuation

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